just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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