YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
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the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
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I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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