You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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