I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
