Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize