she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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