I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
God gave him joint rollers for hands
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
These tits shall not be calmed
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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