Just took my morning after pill in the library
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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