PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize