Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need to sanitize my soul.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
