i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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