Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize