If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
