My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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