You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
