I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?