You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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