so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
