He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize