it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
