I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize