I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
