I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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