I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize