trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
