thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize