we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.