I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.