Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated