Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.

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(817): I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone. http://tfl.nu/zv8s

Replies (28) Good night (2454) Bad night (1217)
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(847): View more from Illinois

So did the night end well for you?

(248): View more from Michigan

I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text

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(847): So did the night end well for you? (248): I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text http://tfl.nu/n8vz

Replies (31) Good night (1327) Bad night (9264)
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(857): View more from Massachusetts

I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?

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(857): I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars? http://tfl.nu/0mdx

Replies (56) Good night (26860) Bad night (1909)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine

(303): View more from Colorado

Oh and I threw up on myself...

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(303): Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine (303): Oh and I threw up on myself... http://tfl.nu/hxn5

Replies (41) Good night (1823) Bad night (7385)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"

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(201): my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that" http://tfl.nu/nqkj

Replies (14) Good night (980) Bad night (4951)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard

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(203): Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard http://tfl.nu/p7e3

Replies (16) Good night (5242) Bad night (668)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests

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(267): the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests http://tfl.nu/jxz4

Replies (15) Good night (1113) Bad night (3780)
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(713): View more from Texas

I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.

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(713): I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells. http://tfl.nu/5vl5

Replies (10) Good night (2101) Bad night (954)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me you're kidding.

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.

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(414): Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet. (920): Tell me you're kidding. (414): Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now. http://tfl.nu/mbei

Replies (8) Good night (932) Bad night (2913)
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(972): View more from Texas

Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.

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(972): Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention. http://tfl.nu/nbnk

Replies (21) Good night (851) Bad night (2761)
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(281): View more from Texas

NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.

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(281): NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME. http://tfl.nu/v341

Replies (5) Good night (1289) Bad night (675)
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(407): View more from Florida

I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.

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(407): I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him. http://tfl.nu/9st1

Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (374)
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(214): View more from Texas

BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.

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(214): BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core. http://tfl.nu/qnhi

Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (299)
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(804): View more from Virginia

That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want

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(804): That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want http://tfl.nu/mjof

Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (243)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.

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(647): Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing. http://tfl.nu/usi8

Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (197)

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