My pussy is not your playground.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.