i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize