hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
