its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
