We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!