You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.