Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress