so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
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There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
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Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!