im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?