haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.