Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.