You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
