We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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