Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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