I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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