Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize