He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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