I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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