This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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