You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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