Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize