loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
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I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
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I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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