The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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