yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
