Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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