Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
