Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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