My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How external is "for external use only"?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was a blind-side dick pic.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
