White coat. Heels.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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